Posts Tagged ‘cat

05
Apr
10

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess – Part 3

-BINGO!  I have successfully utilized my new hawk friend into a projectile attack machine!  I tell ya, this grass I keep finding is doing wonders for my image.  Yes sir, this hawk, which I have now named Dogmeat, just soared over, grabbed that baby cradle, and brought it back, right into my arms.  I was actually kind of hoping it would take out the monkey at the same time, but no such luck, I’m afraid.

-I wonder if it really is the same bird every time.  I should mark it or something.

-….Now how do I get down from here?

-Well, I was pretty confident that I could just jump from rock to rock, very impressively, but alas, I missed the roof of the nearby building, and plunged into the water.  Smooth, Link, very smooth.  Now I’m all wet.  Now that I fished the cradle out of the water, I shall return it to its rightful owner.

-I tripped on the way there.  Nothing to panic about.  Man, that lady would have been very upset if her baby was actually in here.

-Out of context, I am sure that seeing me run around, holding a baby cradle in the air, would have caused quite a stir, and gotten some negative looks among the town folk.  Ah, there’s the lady.

-She is clearly impressed by my brute strength, because she wants me to carry the cradle to her house for her.  I suppose I can support it a little longer.

-God, this is heavy.  Are we there yet?  Why does she walk so slow?!

-HEY!  She gave me the fishing rod that her son Colin made me!  You know, for an 8 year old, this craftsmanship is remarkable.  Now, where’s that monkey?

-I don’t know why, but whenever I receive or find something neat to take with me, this tune always plays in my head.  Dun dun dun duuuuun. Weird.

-This man just asked me if I was also planning on putting some bee larva in an empty bottle.  Um, yes…yes of course.  Duh, hehe…

-I have just sort of been running around, carrying this fishing rod.  I do not recommend this.  It is dangerous.  What I’d really like is that slingshot.  Target practice with a fishing rod is frowned upon.

-Geez, this shop keeper lady is so depressing.  I was just hoping she’d have an empty bottle for me to use, and she starts rambling on about her cat again.  Come on, I need something to put this bee larva in that apparently is a really popular thing to do right now!

-I swam back to where I saw that monkey, but he was nowhere to be found.  However, I did find some rocks on the small bit of land back there, and there was money under it, so…yes…not such a wasted trip, is it?

-Incidentally, I have lost the money I found, during the swim back.

-FISH ON!! I caught a fish!!  I was chasing the cat again for a few minutes, then I remembered that I was carrying this fishing rod.  So, I casted out, and within seconds, I had one of those little angels pierced right through the head.  Just beautiful.  Now I am standing here, holding the rod in the air, with the fish attached it, hoping someone will come by and see.  Actually, this cat seems interested.

-HEY!!  That cat stole my fish!!  That little… I just spent 48 minutes finding the courage to remove it from the hook!!  Now he’s gone.  I feel robbed.  I’m gonna march right into that shop and tell that lady what I think of that thieving, filthy cat.

-Hmph, if I was in Albion, I would kick this chicken, out of sheer anger.

Listen lady!! About that cat of yours!!  I…..see…it has returned. Yes, upon arrival at the shop, to yell maniacally at this poor woman, I see my nemesis, the fish thieving cat, calmly drinking milk out of a dish, on the counter.  Apparently, after stealing my hard earned fish, this cat ran back home, and presented it to her owner.  Then, the woman, clearly out of her mind with glee, hands me this half empty bottle of milk.  Excuse me, lady, but this does not fill the void of the fish I lost.

-Ladies and gentlemen, I have bought myself a slingshot!  I went back to the shop to express my hatred for her cat, and maybe even retrieve my fish, when I realized something.  I would rather have something potentially dangerous!!  I have been finding money all over the bloody place, so I exchanged it for this slingshot.  Keep the fish, lady!  Your cat will get what’s coming to it.

-I feel pretty good, right now.  I have a half-drank bottle of milk, and a snazzy new toy.  I feel so dangerous.  I think I’ll go back and rub it in the faces of those little brats outside my house.  Yes sir, nothing is better than making yourself feel high and mighty by showing a dangerous weapon off to some children who could really hurt themselves with it.  Enjoy the little things, that’s what I always say.

-Actually, that’s the first time I’ve ever said that… Dun dun dun duuuuun.

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