The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess – Part 1

Here we go, folks.  We may as well start this journey off with a bang.  I am headed for the land of Hyrule, Wiimote and nunchuck in hand, and we are going to play The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, from Nintendo.

I suppose this format of blogging is sort of like a “Let’s Play” that you would watch on youtube, but it’s more of a “Text Play”.  I am treating it as journal entries during an adventure.  I do hope that you will all enjoy.

-I shall start by naming my character.  Actually, for story reasons, I may just leave his name as Link.  Link is an awesome name, after all.  Also, I think I will leave my horse’s name as Epona.

-And here we go.  I am sitting near some water, speaking with a man.  He is asking me if I ever feel a strange sadness at night.  He says something disturbing about “our world intersecting with theirs”.  It’s unsettling.  He is referring to the spirits who have left our world, apparently.  Now, after making me feel uncomfortable, he needs a favor!  He would like me to deliver something for him to Hyrule, even though the mayor asked HIM to do it.  He continues to tell me about Hyrule, and its castle, and the town surrounding it.  I have never been to Hyrule, so this should be a real  treat.

-I am now walking back with him to the village in which we live (not together, I should add).  My horse, Epona, accompanies us.  We part ways once we reach my house.  His son looks back at me as they leave.  Seems like a good kid….strange hair, though.

-I…a girl just stole my horse.  Now a man is yelling at me from outside my house!  He wants me to help him herd goats on his farm.  He is also kind enough to point out that my horse is gone.  I am beginning to think he only talks to me because of my horse.  I have a sign in front of my house that reads “Link’s House”.  I hope that isn’t for my own benefit.

-Alright.  Time to find my horse.  However, I shall explore my house first.  A familiar tune plays as I enter.  I left a pot of….something boiling.  I have a giant pitchfork mounted on the wall.  That could be useful.  Also, my house has a very creepy basement.  Anyhoo, time to head out.  *sigh* That guy is still outside.

-I see a squirrell!  I will go down the path to the right of my house.  I test my might along the way by lifting and throwing some boulders.  I could build a wall with those…keep out the-HEY!  My horse!  That girl from before who stole my horse has brought her to a pond.  She seems to know me.  She washed my horse for me!  I am unsure why she didn’t ask first, but…it saves me from having to do it!

-Now she wants a favor too!  Come on, woman.  I have goats to herd!  Play a song for Epona on some grass, eh?  Apparently, I am also MacGyver.  Actually, I don’t mind.  I love my horse.  This grass is shaped like a horse shoe.  What a strange coincidence.  I should really invest in an Ocarina, you know, for the winter months.  And indeed, Epona loved it!  But, alas, it is time to herd some goats.  So long, thieving neighbor!

-I showed off for a bit before I left, but the girl seemed genuinely unimpressed.  I pretended not to care.  I have now reached Ordon Village.  It really is a great place!  I see that cryptic, mustached man from before, swiping his sword at nothing…maybe it is for the best that I am doing this delivery for him.  A lady mentions to me as I pass, that some monkeys have been coming into the village and causing trouble.  That is a surprising statement, in any situation.  Apparently they are stealing from her shop.  Well, that’s why I live out of town.  She them blames her dead beat husband for not stopping them.  Are any of us really qualified to capture monkeys, when the situation is sprung on us?

-I was chasing a chicken with Epona, and we trampled somebody’s pumpkin patch.  I don’t think I can pass blame for that, because I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one in this village with a horse.  I knocked on their door to apologize, but nobody seems to be home.  I just may get out of this yet.

-I really don’t think this sign is necessary that points to the water wheel.  I mean…you can clearly see the water wheel, long before you see the sign.  Anyway, I should talk to Mr. Slashy over there, and see what he wants me to deliver.  Seriously, he is just swiping at nothing, as his wife and son look on.  “Maybe it’s time to come inside, dear?”, “Are you mad, woman?  Can’t you see I am protecting the village from these bears?”, “Of course…the bears…again”.  Aww, his son is making me a fishing rod.  It’s nice that he and I could become friends, even though his Dad may or may not be losing his mind.

-Oh right!  The goats.  That farmer’s likely starting to get pretty impatient, by now.  Sorry, sir, just had to locate my missing horse, but don’t worry, you’re my number one priority!  Ah, there’s the mayor.  The mustaches in this town are very interesting.  He also wants me to hurry and herd the goats.  Of course, sir!  Say, would you mind putting up another sign, so I can get there safely?  He’s actually a pretty nice guy.  It’s just getting late.

-There’s another chicken!

-Oh man, I am so late now, but I have finally reached Ordon Ranch.  Ha!  He apologized for getting me here in such a hurry!  Don’t mention it, buddy.  Hmm, I actually feel pretty bad now for taking 3 hours to get across a village with 5 buildings, and most of a pumpkin patch.  Time for herdin’!!

-Yes! GOAT IN!  GOAT IN!  9 Goats in!  One more!  Come on you lit-

-So, apparently goats don’t like to be taunted.  That last one just rammed me off my horse.  I am beginning to question whether or not I should help this guy anymore.  Hey!  They have that horse shoe shaped grass here too!  I’m probably the only one who can play those too.  I think this town relies on me too much.

-He is grateful, but he says he can do it all himself tomorrow.  We’ll see, buddy.  Oh!  He’s setting up the fences for me and Epona!  We can do some jumps, and-  Hey, I wonder if that girl is watching!  Not that I care.

-Ok…enough horse play (HA!).  Time for some shuteye.  Better watch out for that creepy sadness or whatever that guy was talking about earlier.


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